"Chaos helps us to take back control not from trying to control others or the environment around us, but from taking control of our emotions and reactions, our wounding, trauma and conditioning, and our unconscious patterns, beliefs, and behaviours. We are creating order in the disorder, not on the surface but deep within, bringing back balance and a state of harmony we never thought possible."

Nicola Lucie

We all have a relationship with chaos. Love it or hate it, it’s always there in the different areas of our lives and relationships. It’s there in our bodies when something is out of balance, it’s there at work and at home, and it's there as we move from place to place going about our day to day busyness.

In the bigger picture, chaos is necessary as it wakes us up from our complacency and dormancy, stirring the spirit into action. It is the light that ignites our creative spark and fuels our inner fire to change, to transform and to remember our divine power to create life, love, passion and pleasure in all that we do.

Chaos is non-linear in nature and therefore is deeply related to the feminine and when we give ourselves permission to really sit still within her, to lean into her chaotic and wild beauty we know we can weather any storm, because we are grounded and rooted within the self and only here, can we experience the true meaning of safety, security and stability.

Yet chaos, is what we fear the most as we have been conditioned to fear the true power of the feminine. We have been conditioned to ignore her, suppress her and avoid her at all costs because she has the power to dismantle our carefully constructed lives and send us spiralling out of control.

And this is the nature of chaos herself, for she is the organising principle, breaking down what no longer serves so we can burst forth with what we truly need to feed our vitality and nurture our energy back into balance. In this state of conscious awareness we are able to step into the frequency of the higher levels of consciousness of love and compassion, understanding and respect.

So we can see that chaos is needed to initiate change and is a necessary part of our life and evolution, however, our relationship with chaos tells a different story.

Chaos manifests in our life and relationships because we are trying to communicate from an unresolved wound or a line of conditioning that does not reflect our true nature. We try to mould others into believing what we think is right or wrong based on our conditioned beliefs and behaviours and our own unmet needs.

Chaos flourishes in our constant need to do, to be seen and heard, living in the head and the monkey-mind that never seems to take a break and it creates pain and suffering when our unconscious emotions are triggered and all hell is let loose.

Chaos rules the day when our boundaries are disrespected and ignored and we try to raise our voice above the chaos to assert order where there is disorder, not recognising that we are the true perpetrators of this pattern as we have allowed our boundaries to be disrespected in the first place.

Unconsciously related with control, we see how chaos manifests in the collective because an event strips back the illusion that we are no longer safe, secure or stable. Everything we once held dear can be taken away in an instant. So we try to control the situation, try to fix the discomfort we feel while we are secretly shaking in our boots as the illusion of the reality we have created begins to crumble.

So we try to assert more control to bring back order, but the more we engage in this fight or flight response the more chaos we create.

Chaos, is therefore crisis. It creates intense stress in the body, sending the nervous system into overwhelm and protection mode as we fight for survival at all costs and sooner or later it will have an impact on our health, wealth and wellbeing.

In the past few weeks, I’ve been moving house, and for those that know me or have followed my journey you’ll know that this is nothing new to me, as I have had no home or roots for more than 8-yrs. I’m used to moving at the drop of a hat never knowing where I will be from one day to the next, living in the complete unknown.

But this time round, moving wasn’t so easy, as I was being pulled back into old survival patterns of lack and scarcity and of course these manifested in my immediate environment as we could not find a place to live according to our budget as they were all booked because of the Easter holidays.

The panic and fear set in and gripped my mind, body and soul. I roared and I raged, angry with myself for leaving it too late, furious with myself for finding myself in this position yet again.

I was in full chaos and stress. I wasn’t sleeping nor eating properly, I was smoking like a trooper, and my nervous system was on full breakdown alert.

Why?

Because quite simply I wasn’t listening. I’d come fully uprooted from my centre, searching and seeking outside of myself for a solution, trying once again to tap the holes to survive the sinking ship. I allowed myself to go against the ticking clock, knocking me out of the deep sense of trust I’ve always known as my loving guide.

Then I had a powerful dream, my soul was scattered and I needed to reclaim her and this is why I was creating chaos in my life, as I was unconsciously looking for the fragmented aspects of my soul across this land I had become disconnected from.

So the only way out of the chaos was to go in!

Survival is at the very root of the shadow side of chaos, we desperately try to survive against all odds, to hold onto the familiar, to what is known because beyond is the unknown and this challenges us more than we care to accept. We’ve always known survival, we’ve always known how to function in survival and stress, it’s like an old friend we return back to time and time again.

I see this time and time again with my clients and it never ceases to amaze me how much chaos we create in our lives, how unconsciously addicted we are to the drama, the vicious cycle of reaction, pain and suffering. And that’s ok, until it’s not ok and in that moment when they realise this divine truth and their own power of creating this chaotic stress dynamic through their patterns and choices, deep powerful shifts occur and takes them into a whole new level of expansion and conscious awareness.

So learning how to lean into the chaos, stay present within it, we experience ourselves like never before, untethering ourselves from the familiar and into the unfamiliar waters of the void, where everything exists and nothing is as it seems. It takes courage and strength to do so, untapped potentially we never believed we had access to.

Deep beneath the surface, we can see clearly how we have created this chaos from old unresolved wounds and when we listen to the wounds held lovingly in our shadow, we tap into the power to heal what has come out of balance so change can occur. We experience the power of being calm amidst the chaos, seeing it for what it truly is, our own nature come to help us create the next stage of our lives within it.

From this deeply rooted place, we experience the joy and freedom that comes with this conscious awareness of our own power to change, as we recognise where we need to tend to the deeper needs of our soul and the boundaries we can now put into effect and communicate from a heart-centred place.

In this divine moment, we learn how chaos helps us to take back control not from trying to control others or the environment around us, but from taking control of our emotions and reactions, our wounding, trauma and conditioning and our unconscious patterns, beliefs and behaviours. We are creating order in the disorder, not on the surface but deep within, bringing back balance and a state of harmony we never thought possible.

And this is where our true power resides, not in the doing or the fixing, but in the power of giving ourselves permission to lean into the chaos and staying still within it. No longer exhausted trying to manage the chaos, we can receive the wisdom and energy we need to effectively create the reality we desire in a more healthy and balanced way.

And me? Having done the inner work, an offer came through effortlessly, and after a few minor bumps in the road, we returned to the land I feel spiritually connected to and which has been part of my life for more than two decades, while I finish my deeper work so I’ll be ready when it’s time to say goodbye.

How much chaos do you have in your life right now? What does it look like? What does it feel like? What has it come to teach you about yourself?

With Love, 

Nicola x