"Fire is the most misunderstood aspect of our nature and probably the hidden reason we as women, individually and collectively suffer from so many menstrual and reproductive disorders, gut, and digestion issues, and challenges with our sexual nature as we are quite simply repressing our own innate power source through fear and lack of understanding and awareness"

Nicola Lucie

The core nature of fire is about transformation, transforming what needs to change and having the will, energy and commitment to do so. It is one of the most vital power sources we need to be in and of this world, to initiate, activate and create. It’s related to the solar plexus, the stomach and digestion and her power can be felt in our menstrual cycle and sexual energy.

However, fire also has a shadow side, and when left unchecked it destroys, and burns down the house in reaction and fear. It becomes unruly and chaotic, throwing words poisoned with anger and hate, rage and envy, jealousy and bitterness in the face of those around us. It sabotages and manipulates and fights to be heard, seen and loved. It is violent and volatile, unpredictable and dangerous.

And in the face of this fire, we have no control, and yet we are seeking to control through our unconscious behaviour and reactions. We lose all sense of reasoning and sanity because in the moment when our fire erupts, it has a mind of its own and we cannot stop ourselves. So just as the serpent eats its tail we go around in a vicious and destructive cycle, burning anything that stands in our way.

We have all experienced this shadow side of fire, and as women, we don’t really care to admit it, nor accept this dark, violent aspect of our nature as it goes completely against the societal expectations projected upon us. So we wear masks to cover it, we adopt patterns of behaviour to suppress it and we retreat to our conditioning to ignore it at all costs.

But that which is not tamed, is like a predator in the psyche, waiting for the trigger to be pulled and when it does so, all hell breaks loose, and like a bull in a china shop, leaves a broken mess of frayed nerves, remorse and regret.

In my personal and professional experience working with women, fire is the most feared of the elements, because to face the fire within, we will have to face the level of destruction we have unconsciously created along the way. We will have to take responsibility for weaponising our anger and the wounds we have inflicted when they have hit the mark. We will have to accept, digest and take ownership of what we have sown and the patterns we have perpetuated and passed on as a result.

But most of all, we will have to feel those very discomforting emotions which threaten our sense of safety, security and stability and the right light we wish to be seen in. We fear feeling them because we have been conditioned they are wrong, unholy, unacceptable and unlovable and unconsciously we believe that if we feel them, we are them, creating an illusion of truth we would rather not accept, so we carry on as ‘normal’.

It’s one of my greatest gifts as a practitioner to hold space for clients to navigate this fire, and cultivating a deep level of trust is necessary because without trust and guidance chaos will surely follow. But it takes time, as the stores of anger they have built up across lifetimes and generations is locked deeply in the body and presents as armour which can only be chipped away at piece by piece as and when the client is ready and never before.

Fire is also the most misunderstood aspect of our nature and probably the hidden reason we as women, individually and collectively suffer from so many menstrual and reproductive disorders, gut and digestion issues, and challenges with our sexual nature as we are quite simply repressing our own innate power source through fear and lack of understanding and awareness.

My earliest experience of my fire was triggered the day I started my period, and a year later it intensified when I lost my virginity and my sexual energy erupted onto the scene. Integrating that time of my life through Shadow Work, I had to face the shame I felt at my unconscious behaviour. The temper tantrums I pulled, the malicious and vicious things I said to my mum to hurt her and the sexual exploits I entangled myself in to navigate the burning desire and passion I felt coursing through my body.

Anger has been at the root of so many decisions I have made, lashing out and taking flight, and it was dominant when I suffered through Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). And the amount of unexpressed anger I have absorbed from family members has been a challenge to unravel from my cellular memory.

Even now, those old feelings of anger can arise, and I can feel them in the chalice of my womb wanting to hurt and do damage, to myself, and to others in response, so I welcome them, I listen to them and I love them for they have come to teach me something I now need to learn.

Anger and fire have become my greatest teachers, for they have and continue to teach me about the very nature of power and control. Because if we are able to raise such unconscious and destructive power from the depths of our psyche to meet the unmet needs of our ego, imagine what can be created, changed and transformed if we bring it back into balance and our conscious awareness and use it as a force for good.

And this is where the healing journey begins.

We cannot change the past, but we can learn from it. We can face it and integrate it’s wisdom and we will need our fire to do so. Because fire is needed to take action and to initiate the next steps to harness our will to change. We need our fire to transform what has become toxic and out of balance on the inside so we can bring harmony and love back into our lives and relationships on the outside.

We will need to recognise, that buried beneath the destructive fire, is a little girl who needs to be seen and heard, accepted, loved and understood. This insecure part of us that has developed patterns of behaviour to try to control what is out of control.

We will need to understand how to embrace, embody and express these powerful emotions that course through our very being in a way that feels right for us.

We will need to learn how to transform our anger into assertion, our jealousy into desire, and our hatred into love, taking conscious action rather than unconscious reaction so we can weave our fire into passion and pleasure from a healthy and balanced place which supports and nurtures rather than manipulates and destroys.

We will need to learn how to build bridges rather than burn them down, harnessing the power of our own innate power to manifest the change we wish to see in the world.

And we cannot do this by ignoring this life force, the fire that burns within, but when we give ourselves permission to lean into our fire and experience her power, we will never be burned again, nor will we burn others and as a result, our lives and relationships will change like never before.

What is your relationship with your fire? How do anger and jealousy show up in your life? How do you avoid, ignore or suppress your anger?

With Love, 

Nicola x