How many times has the Crone within me been ostracized by society?
How many times has she been on the outside looking in?
How many times has she been dismissed and ignored?
How many times has she been cast off as too old to know?
How many times has she suppressed her voice through fear of the truth it will sound?
How many times has she shied away from her knowledge and her wisdom through fear she will be rejected?
How many times has she envied her Maiden and Mother to feel whole and part of the world again?
How many times did she suppress her true power, through fear of being ‘seen’, and burnt at the stake?
How many times did she play small so as not to draw attention to herself?
How many times did she stay hidden, so as not to be exposed as the witch she is?
How many times did she fear to use her voice, to stop an unjust world, so as not to rock the boat?
How many times has she given her power away, just to be liked, accepted and brought back into the fold once again?
How many times has she cut herself off, preferring aloneness and aloofness, rather than community and friendship?
How many times has she looked back on her life and regretted her decisions?
How many times has she felt the guilt and shame she has spent her life suppressing, rise up like bile, only to be hit with the shovel and buried once more?
How many times has she walked away and turned a blind eye, when she could not face what was in front of her?
How many times has she manifested this same negative energy, this same unhealthy relationship into her life?
How many times must she make the same mistakes until she learns their lesson?
How many times has she thought about her impending death, the grim reaper standing there, in the shadows, waiting?
How many times had she denied her mortality only to be faced with it now in all of its harshnesses?
How many times has she looked in the mirror and hated her lines, her liver spots, her wrinkles, her signs of age creeping up on her and wished they were gone?
How many times?
With love,
Nicola x
