Why Having a Breakdown Leads to Breakthrough

The Necessity of Death for Rebirth

Why is having a breakdown essential to having a breakthrough?

When we engage with life, with our learning process, with our inner work, we start to see, understand and accept how the process of death is necessary for the process of birth.

Change, for example, a part of the death and rebirth process comes so that we can let go of what no longer serves us, it comes to show us what we have outgrown. Change comes so we can evolve and take another step closer to birthing a new chapter in our lives, a new relationship, a new way of being which supports our dreams and sacred path.

The Breakdown Moment

We only have to look back at our lives to see how many times the opportunity of change has presented itself, and how many times we have accepted the challenge and allowed the old form of our lives to breakdown.

Yet how many of us have ignored or resisted this natural process? How many of us have hung on to what we know, to what we find comfort in, to what we believe keeps us safe and protected?

Accustomed to having a breakdown at various stages of my life, as old chapters end and new ones begin, the process in itself when it arrives can be downright bloody painful, confusing, stressful, scary and totally discombobulating.

In the Eye of the Storm

We find ourselves in a heap on the floor, crying, desperately reaching out for something or someone to grab hold of, to come out of the ethers and save us.

We walk around like Zombies, drained of energy and tired, our shoulders drooped and the smile wiped from our faces. Our life force zapped from us and the fear and dread of our thoughts coming through of ‘I really can’t do this anymore’.

Trusting the Process

Yet the will of the human spirit is strong, we have been through this many times before, and we will make it through this as well. And as we lie there, all we have is trust and the present moment.

Trust in the bigger picture that having a breakdown is necessary for us to finally breakthrough, and the present moment as it is the only time that exists and where we really need to be.

Surrendering to What Needs to Go

We need to be here in the present moment to engage with the process, to engage with what is coming forth to be let go of. We need to be in this divine and blissful present moment to feel it all, to not run and hide, to not escape into our addictions and dissociative behaviours.

The present moment gifts us with awareness to not fight the process, to surrender and give ourselves permission to let go and in doing so we actually regain a little more of our power.

Breaking the Conditioning

Yet, as women, we have been conditioned to not break down. We have been conditioned to be strong and stoic. We have been conditioned to hold everything together for the sake of the family, for the sake of others, to not make a spectacle of ourselves.

We have been conditioned to fear breaking down, as to embrace it will inevitably mean moving out of our comfort zone, and that is not a safe space to be. There is no sense of security outside of the comfort zone, there is no safety net.

Facing the Unknown

Moving to this place of the unknown we will have no choice but to let aspects of our lives go that no longer serve us, including the possibility of all we hold dear.

It means we will have to break down who we thought we were and redefine ourselves according to our own truth, and this is something we have never been taught to do.

When Resistance Fails

So, we keep those breakdowns inside. We keep those opportunities to change according to our own needs and truth buried deep. We fight the natural process of breaking down and in doing so we fight with ourselves.

Until, sooner or later, all the toxic waste created by burying our dreams and our opportunities of change come bubbling to the surface.

Breakdowns Are Rebirth

Having a breakdown is a natural process of nature, it’s painful, it’s raw, yet oh so bloody necessary if we are to live our lives with love. With authenticity. With grace.

Surrendering to breaking down is empowerment. Giving ourselves permission to break down is us taking full responsibility for our power to change and engage in the process of life. It is us actively dying so we can be reborn.

A breakdown is often the psyche's invitation to stop holding it all together alone. If you are standing at this exact threshold, discover how a devoted somatic shadow work container provides the relational safety needed to navigate transformation into wholeness

What are your experiences of breaking down? What breakthroughs have you had through this deep inner process?

With love,

Nicola x

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